In every serious relationship, we always hope that the love we are feeling and receiving will be the kind that lasts. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that we don’t always find the long-lasting love we’re looking for. Is it fate? Or, do we simply need to improve something within us to make it happen? Research seems to indicate the latter.
The Ingredient We Lack for Long-Lasting Love is Generosity
When you hear that generosity is the secret ingredient to long-lasting love, you may think to yourself, “Really?”
That is a natural reaction since, commonly, we would think that communication, common goals, and interests, plus physical intimacy would be the top ingredients.
They still are, however, generosity is something that we should look into because it is commonly overlooked or pushed to the side when talking about romantic connections.
Most of us think that you can be generous in your relationship, but you don’t have to for it to work. Research done by John Gottman doesn’t agree with this notion. The results list kindness and generosity as two of the most important elements in lasting relationships. Another study in 2017 concluded that generosity is tied to overall happiness.
Why Do We Need to Be Generous?
So, what is with generosity? Why is it so important in relationships, and more specifically, in long-lasting love?
It may be because generosity has multiple facets to it. When a person is generous, it doesn’t just mean that he or she is willing to give financially. Here are other characteristics that describe generosity:
Generosity is altruistic.
Altruism means that a person is not selfish. The person is willing to give and think of other people instead of him or herself. When it comes to relationships, it’s a must for the two people involved to think of each other’s needs. When both exhibit a generous personality, everything works because it’s a process of giving and taking.
A generous person believes in “What’s mine is yours.”
Sharing is such an important aspect in relationships. A generous person doesn’t have to give everything he or she owns, but this person is willing to share. He or she doesn’t hoard possessions. It’s similar when it comes to time.
A generous person doesn’t expect something in return
When a generous person gives, he or she doesn’t expect people to return the favor. Of course, it’s a wonderful gesture if your partner reciprocates your generosity, but it is not required nor is it mandatory.
A generous person is forgiving
Yes, forgiveness is a part of being generous. In a relationship, small conflicts are common. Tension stays and arises when the couple holds on to grudges formed from these minor conflicts. A generous heart is willing to look past small mistakes and doesn’t hold grudges at all.
If you feel like you’re not generous enough in your relationship, please know that it’s possible for you to practice your generosity. It’s something that anyone can develop. For instance, you can start by giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. Your first interpretation of your partner’s behavior should be in their favor. Start practicing generosity today so you can be on your way to long-lasting love.